Some days I see Stella in the window, standing on top of the couch, rubbing her body against the glass, tail up yet relaxed. Other days, I see her on the bed, curled up and napping, her chest lightly rising, lightly falling. These images are the conjurings of grief. Memories of her peek up here and there, flickering in like an old projection, clipped yet running. It’s been four weeks—a whole month exactly—since she passed. The grief remains, sticking to me like a wet leaf.
Read MoreThere’s this alternate reality in my head where Stella and I have more time together—where she lives into her senior years of 14, 16, 18. These thoughts have offered comfort as I’ve struggled to hold onto memories of her regular movements, mannerisms, and better days. Diagnosed with hepatic lipidosis (fatty liver syndrome) only six weeks ago, a sudden onset after a period of not eating, we’ve been in the throes of intensive caregiving.
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